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Purple Circle Saturday, 7/13/19 Chatsworth, CA (Los Angeles) This is a safe space for all people to talk about sex. Accompanied by Tea Service by SafeTea Shop featuring Goddess Breath sacred smokables and herbal tea blends and vegan food. Please arrive after 7pm to enjoy tea, herbal smokables, and delicious vegan food. Chat, settle in, get to know each other. Space is limited! |
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***Purple Circles in Encinitas and Online will be on hiatus for July and August***
WHAT IS THE PURPLE CIRCLE?
Blue (for “Boys”) + Pink (for “Girls)
[represents programmed cultural gender biases and creates division, categorization, separation, disempowerment, disembodiment, and competition]
= The Purple Circle
[represents reclaiming our power, reintegrating the qualities of divine masculine and feminine individually and collectively, sharing knowledge, and becoming one]
The Purple Circle is a Safe and Sacred Space for people to get woke by sharing experiences and learning from one another. Let's heal old wounds and co-create the new dynamic of balance between divine masculine and divine feminine within our selves and our relationships.
Open to EVERYONE (18+)
WHAT HAPPENS DURING A PURPLE CIRCLE?
These 2 hours will be informative, enlightening, empowering, and transformative!
1. Set the sacred container
2. Conversation foreplay
3. Discuss the selected topic from our ever-expanding list (see below)
4. Get the concept into our bodies by participating in a physical activity which helps to practically apply the discussed topic in a safe, funny, and poignant way.
Let's be open, honest and authentic with each other so that we may understand our similarities and honor our differences, express our truths, ask the hard questions of one another and get real answers.
Blue (for “Boys”) + Pink (for “Girls)
[represents programmed cultural gender biases and creates division, categorization, separation, disempowerment, disembodiment, and competition]
= The Purple Circle
[represents reclaiming our power, reintegrating the qualities of divine masculine and feminine individually and collectively, sharing knowledge, and becoming one]
The Purple Circle is a Safe and Sacred Space for people to get woke by sharing experiences and learning from one another. Let's heal old wounds and co-create the new dynamic of balance between divine masculine and divine feminine within our selves and our relationships.
Open to EVERYONE (18+)
- This is a Safe Space for all genders to ask questions of each other regardless of sexual preferences
- This is a Safe Space to heal past wounds
- This is a Safe Space to create a new active dynamic of masculine and feminine balance within ourselves, others, and the greater community
WHAT HAPPENS DURING A PURPLE CIRCLE?
These 2 hours will be informative, enlightening, empowering, and transformative!
1. Set the sacred container
2. Conversation foreplay
3. Discuss the selected topic from our ever-expanding list (see below)
4. Get the concept into our bodies by participating in a physical activity which helps to practically apply the discussed topic in a safe, funny, and poignant way.
Let's be open, honest and authentic with each other so that we may understand our similarities and honor our differences, express our truths, ask the hard questions of one another and get real answers.
Join our Facebook or MeetUp to keep apprised of all things Purple Circle.
Benefits:
WE WILL ALSO INCLUDE EXPRESSIVE ART, CEREMONY, AND MANY COME PLAY™ ACTIVITIES:
WHY THIS WORK IS IMPORTANT NOW:
Whether or not we have been victims of direct sexual violence ourselves, our society is so saturated with messages of sexual objectification and the victim, perpetrator, rescuer triad. We have all undoubtedly been affected by “rape-culture.” We are all victims of it and we are all participants in it. It’s impossible to get away from. The only choice we have is to change the dynamic within ourselves… up-level our own consciousness, and wake ourselves up.
By accepting responsibility for our part, living in alignment with our own personal truth, and acting in alignment with our internal clear YES's and clear NO's, we free ourselves from the Victim Perpetrator Rescuer Triad which is so deeply ingrained in our society.
When we witness each other we see that we are not alone. We are the same. We are one.
When we come to value the balance we bring to each other and the mirror reflections we shine, we will create a new path collectively.
This necessary conversation increases knowledge, know-how, and breeds intimacy, communication, and the odds to have a FANTASTIC love life.
When I think about the fact that most mainstream porn is the example we have, and that most people learn how to have sex from this influence either directly or indirectly, I shudder with fright. When percentages of foreplay-giving are so imbalanced, when the actual act is shown so violently, when bodies are used as tools for someone else's pleasure, how could the majority of us possibly be having good sex?
The conversation between ourselves and our inner truth and our partner is imperative. When we repair the sexual dynamic between men and women, we prepare for a new horizon of equality in our relationships. When we talk with friends and strangers on the subject, we are confirmed in our truths... "Oh you too? Me too!"
People of all Genders have a responsibility to change the cycle in which we find ourselves. When we give fake No's because we are supposed to be "CHASTE", then others do not knowing how to navigate the line between the actual Yes/No because they are supposed to "CHASE." When we start saying true Yes's and actual No's, we will easily be able to navigate our boundaries and will no longer have to chase each other in the same way... thus freeing us from the cycle of Chaste and Chased.
SEX, LOVE, AND RELATIONSHIPS is a vast umbrella. Each circle we will focus on a topic.
POTENTIAL TOPICS TO COVER:
(1 or 2 topics covered each meeting and the list keeps growing)
- Discover what you desire
- Learn to receive
- Increase your knowledge of all aspects of sex
- Increase your pleasure and number of orgasms
- Learn how to get what you want
- Define and speak your boundaries
- Be a more capable lover
- Dispel taboos around sex
- Be able to talk openly about sex
- Have healthy relationships
- Date better
WE WILL ALSO INCLUDE EXPRESSIVE ART, CEREMONY, AND MANY COME PLAY™ ACTIVITIES:
- Consent/Avoiding - Hugs and Handshakes
- Giving, Receiving, and Compursion
- Finger Kisses, Hand-Hugs, Eye Make-outs
- Using Body as a Shield, Shielding Body with Choices
- Body Listening Experiments
- Touch Communication
- and many more...
WHY THIS WORK IS IMPORTANT NOW:
Whether or not we have been victims of direct sexual violence ourselves, our society is so saturated with messages of sexual objectification and the victim, perpetrator, rescuer triad. We have all undoubtedly been affected by “rape-culture.” We are all victims of it and we are all participants in it. It’s impossible to get away from. The only choice we have is to change the dynamic within ourselves… up-level our own consciousness, and wake ourselves up.
By accepting responsibility for our part, living in alignment with our own personal truth, and acting in alignment with our internal clear YES's and clear NO's, we free ourselves from the Victim Perpetrator Rescuer Triad which is so deeply ingrained in our society.
When we witness each other we see that we are not alone. We are the same. We are one.
When we come to value the balance we bring to each other and the mirror reflections we shine, we will create a new path collectively.
This necessary conversation increases knowledge, know-how, and breeds intimacy, communication, and the odds to have a FANTASTIC love life.
When I think about the fact that most mainstream porn is the example we have, and that most people learn how to have sex from this influence either directly or indirectly, I shudder with fright. When percentages of foreplay-giving are so imbalanced, when the actual act is shown so violently, when bodies are used as tools for someone else's pleasure, how could the majority of us possibly be having good sex?
The conversation between ourselves and our inner truth and our partner is imperative. When we repair the sexual dynamic between men and women, we prepare for a new horizon of equality in our relationships. When we talk with friends and strangers on the subject, we are confirmed in our truths... "Oh you too? Me too!"
People of all Genders have a responsibility to change the cycle in which we find ourselves. When we give fake No's because we are supposed to be "CHASTE", then others do not knowing how to navigate the line between the actual Yes/No because they are supposed to "CHASE." When we start saying true Yes's and actual No's, we will easily be able to navigate our boundaries and will no longer have to chase each other in the same way... thus freeing us from the cycle of Chaste and Chased.
SEX, LOVE, AND RELATIONSHIPS is a vast umbrella. Each circle we will focus on a topic.
POTENTIAL TOPICS TO COVER:
(1 or 2 topics covered each meeting and the list keeps growing)
- Anal Play
- BDSM, Pain, Power Play, & your golden number
- Bros n Hoes Code of Conduct
- BV vs. STI's
- CoDependent Relationships
- Consent (Chaste/Chased)
- Consensual Rape
- Dating In Person - pick up lines
- Dating Online opening lines (how are you?)
- Dating Entry Points: Friends vs. Fucking and everything in between
- Ego
- Farting/Queefing
- Female Moon Cycles (possible corresponding Male Cycles)
- First attempts at Contact
- First Sex (Virginhood and with each new partner)
- Fingering/Handjobs (preparing your hands)
- Fisting/Large Insertions
- Flirting
- Gender Roles and Pit Falls: Women-slut or prude aka a hole, Men-Friendzone or Doghouse
- Gender vs. Sexual Orientation
- Hard cocks vs. Flaccid cocks (+ why both are cool)
- Hard No's
- Healthy Boundaries
- Impostor Yeses and Nos
- Intimacy (Friendship)
- Jealousy vs. Compursion
- Kinks
- Listening with you Body
- Loyalty
- Masturbation
- Mutual Masturbation
- Obligation (blue balls and more)
- Oral Sex
- Pegging
- Performing and Performance Anxiety
- Period Sex
- Penises and Male Anatomy (circumcision)
- Porn
- Puberty
- Rape Culture (and our contributions to the cycle)
- Readiness - (how do I know when my partner is turned on and ready?)
- Respect (for self and others, safe sex)
- Right Timing for Sex & the mandatory Pre-Conversation
- Roll Play
- Sex-Work
- Sharing of Energy & People
- Fisting/Large Insertions
- Slow Down
- Taboos
- Talking about Preferences, Fantasies, and Desires
- Teaching, Talking, & Communication
- Tight vs. Loose
- Types of Relationships (Monogamous, Open, Poly, etc…)
- Vulvas and Female Anatomy (lubrication)
CODE OF CONDUCT
All participants will agree and be expected to conduct themselves in the following ways during each Purple Circle.
We agree to keep all information revealed during the Purple Circle 100% confidential. We understand that we may discuss our own personal experience, but we may not reveal names, information, experiences, or stories shared by other Purple Circle participants.
We will practice the 4 Agreements (by: Don Miguel Ruiz)
We will also Hold Space for each other by agreeing to:
If we get Triggered, we will continue to hold Safe Space for ourselves and our coHearts by agreeing not to:
Furthermore, we agree to never “Gaslight” each other. (Gaslighting means: to manipulate someone by psychological means into questioning their own feelings, beliefs, or sanity.)
We will not discount each others’ feelings (by saying, “No, you don’t actually feel that way, you feel ___________ instead”).
We will offer each other a clean slate/fresh start at each and every Purple Circle.
We will do our best to resolve any negative feelings between participants during the present moment or as soon as possible. We will do our best to resolve all issues before the close of that Purple Circle. If we cannot, we will create a plan of action to resolve the conflict.
Finally, we agree that though love can happen any time anywhere, the Purple Circle is not intended to be a dating or hookup opportunity. Though sexual chemistry happens often, we agree to keep our energetic tentacles to ourselves (even if we find them wanting to hook into other participants).
We agree to take care of ourselves and maintain clear boundaries during all conversations.
We give ourselves permission to say “No” at anytime. (If we receive a “No,” we can respond by saying, “Thank you for taking care of yourself.”)
We agree to not Friend Request anyone in the private Facebook group whom we have not met in person and asked, face to face, for consent to connect on social media.
If we find ourselves having an issue with one specific participant and we are unable to resolve the situation on our own in the moment, Sasha Zeilig must be notified.
If we do not feel safe because of another participant, Sasha Zeilig must be notified.
With the first complaint, Sasha will address the participant herself for resolution. If Sasha receives 2 complaints about a specific participant, that person will be asked to leave the Purple Circle for the rest of the year.
We will use the Peace Rose System of conflict resolution:
Person A: When you did __________________, I felt __________________.
Or
I didn’t like it when you ___________________________.
Person B: I hear that when I did ____________________, you felt ________________.
Or
I hear that you didn’t like it when I __________________________.
When you did __________________, I felt __________________.
Or
I didn’t like it when you ___________________________.
Person A: I hear that when I did ____________________, you felt ________________.
Or
I hear that you didn’t like it when I __________________________.
Person A: How can I make it right?
Person B: You can make it right by ____________________________. How can I make it right?
Person B: You can make it right by ____________________________.
All participants will agree and be expected to conduct themselves in the following ways during each Purple Circle.
We agree to keep all information revealed during the Purple Circle 100% confidential. We understand that we may discuss our own personal experience, but we may not reveal names, information, experiences, or stories shared by other Purple Circle participants.
We will practice the 4 Agreements (by: Don Miguel Ruiz)
- Be impeccable with your word
- Don’t take anything personally
- Don’t make assumptions
- Always do your best
We will also Hold Space for each other by agreeing to:
- Listen without interruption
- Be a continuous participant
- Stay open
- Learn from one another
- Listen to each other
- Respect one another
- Enjoy and be curious about our differences
- Be brave and stand strong in the eye of an emotional storm
- Share about ourselves when relevant
If we get Triggered, we will continue to hold Safe Space for ourselves and our coHearts by agreeing not to:
- Direct our anger directly at another person
- Leave the circle
- Attempt to “Fix” someone else’s emotions
- Judge one another
- Judge ourselves
- Attempt to stop, squelch, or hide our own emotions
Furthermore, we agree to never “Gaslight” each other. (Gaslighting means: to manipulate someone by psychological means into questioning their own feelings, beliefs, or sanity.)
We will not discount each others’ feelings (by saying, “No, you don’t actually feel that way, you feel ___________ instead”).
We will offer each other a clean slate/fresh start at each and every Purple Circle.
We will do our best to resolve any negative feelings between participants during the present moment or as soon as possible. We will do our best to resolve all issues before the close of that Purple Circle. If we cannot, we will create a plan of action to resolve the conflict.
Finally, we agree that though love can happen any time anywhere, the Purple Circle is not intended to be a dating or hookup opportunity. Though sexual chemistry happens often, we agree to keep our energetic tentacles to ourselves (even if we find them wanting to hook into other participants).
We agree to take care of ourselves and maintain clear boundaries during all conversations.
We give ourselves permission to say “No” at anytime. (If we receive a “No,” we can respond by saying, “Thank you for taking care of yourself.”)
We agree to not Friend Request anyone in the private Facebook group whom we have not met in person and asked, face to face, for consent to connect on social media.
If we find ourselves having an issue with one specific participant and we are unable to resolve the situation on our own in the moment, Sasha Zeilig must be notified.
If we do not feel safe because of another participant, Sasha Zeilig must be notified.
With the first complaint, Sasha will address the participant herself for resolution. If Sasha receives 2 complaints about a specific participant, that person will be asked to leave the Purple Circle for the rest of the year.
We will use the Peace Rose System of conflict resolution:
Person A: When you did __________________, I felt __________________.
Or
I didn’t like it when you ___________________________.
Person B: I hear that when I did ____________________, you felt ________________.
Or
I hear that you didn’t like it when I __________________________.
When you did __________________, I felt __________________.
Or
I didn’t like it when you ___________________________.
Person A: I hear that when I did ____________________, you felt ________________.
Or
I hear that you didn’t like it when I __________________________.
Person A: How can I make it right?
Person B: You can make it right by ____________________________. How can I make it right?
Person B: You can make it right by ____________________________.