Because that's what happened Saturday Night at my Alternatine's Party.
What transpired was obviously awkward,
but it was simultaneously beautiful, delicate, and inspiring.
OMG, my dears,
Let me tell you this wild and crazy story...
The party was planned from 7pm-9pm. When 7:15pm rolled around and none of the highly anticipated women had arrived, I broached the awkwardness by opening trying to explan why I thought no women had come. I told them, women hug each other all the time, we get lots of healing touch in our lives from our sisters. We are not snuggle starved. We have permission from society to touch each other. We give each other permission.
We share physical affection.
Then I asked the men there a question: "What would it look like if you gave each other permission to express brotherly love?" First we talked. It was pretty much a men's circle facilitated by a woman. I set the space with low lighting, soft music, and a circular (feminine essence) alter which included the 4 elements as well as open vessels representing receiving, and phallic symbols representing giving. We sat around the central alter on soft cushions and blankets. Then I officially opened the circle as I would in any of my women's circles, with a ritual.
We lit candles together. We smudged each other with a sage stick, taking turns, going in a circle so that we could each experience being healer and being healed.
We are all magic, you know! We each pulled a one-word angel card, shared our names, and how our angel-card-word was relevant to us in this moment. My card was special, it had two words: Brotherhood/Sisterhood. “How perfectly suited”, I thought.
We then enjoyed a few silly and empathetic rounds of Come Play Truth or Dare Live. Highlights of this endeavor for me included:
A group dare where we all shared our most embarrassing moments
Witnessing one gent massage another gent kindly for 3 minutes
And just generally how much laughter was shared
Then came the time when I could no longer avoid what we had all come to do: Snuggle.
We practiced the boundaries (permission to say no and have that no accepted seemed especially important under the circumstances). We practiced saying yes as well.
Then I tried to settle into the middle between them all. That lasted all of 10 seconds before I realized there was no way I'd be able to settle into that.
I immediately popped up with an idea!
One gent added to it and then we had the perfect exercise for us in that moment. One person at a time received a 4 elements massage from all the rest of us. Each person had a turn to receive and to give. It was delicious, kind, and finally comfortable.
I was so proud of us for navigating this new, foreign, and extremely unknown territory... and for doing it gracefully. And for no one just walking out and never looking back!
It was so cool and I want to do more.... Anyone else interested?
I was inspired on Saturday night by man-love, brotherly love, BROVE!
Thank you for the hope, Gents!